the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
