like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
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Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
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Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...