so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first