If that was your dad, he is hot
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast