I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
33 Sex Crazed People That Are Going Balls Deep
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
21 Family Members Confess The Creepiest Things They Know About a Relative
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy