So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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