She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Randomize
