You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Randomize
