I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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