Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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