you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
