I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
