Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize