just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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