Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
