doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
