loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
