you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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