Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
