Bisexual people are plain selfish.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
