i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
