so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
