Well douche your snatch and let's go!
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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