so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
