when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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