It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
