Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
