I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
