Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
