I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
