omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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