Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
