yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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