Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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