I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
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