Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
