Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
We're using joints as your birthday candles
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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