Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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