A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
