Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize