She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
