What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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