can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I can't turn off my feet"
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
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