I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Randomize
