my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
