OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
