Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
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Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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