office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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