just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Randomize
