What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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