Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
