Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
