dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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