I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
