There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
