sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Randomize
