so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
