is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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