Define "chronic" masturbator.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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