there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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