So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
