Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
