I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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