sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
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My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
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Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize