is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
