quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
