he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
