can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
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