i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
