I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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