hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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