no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
