I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I touched a dick in church today
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
