i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
