dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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